Having a random hookup so left but love u
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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