I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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