We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
