He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Randomize
