she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
