Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
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