how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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