she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
you win again, gameday.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
