Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
