when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
