Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
