i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
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