FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize
