dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
