i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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