I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
either way he was missing a nipple.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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