he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
