My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
