the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
