I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
