Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
