When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
There r osticjed everywhere
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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