i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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