My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
