What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The struggles of a small town man whore
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
