I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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