...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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