): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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