No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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