Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
