a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
