I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
