I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
