I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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