Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
