NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
