Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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