Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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