Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
