I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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