Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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