I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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