drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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