yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
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