but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
