So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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