meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
