Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
My Sexting was not on an AP level
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
