I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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