theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Randomize
