She's JV to your varsity
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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