Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
