She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
