belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
