I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
